


Alike Souls

by NikiNemeth



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Mentioned)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Disorder, Ashton is dealing with self-harm too, Ashton wasn't there from the beginning, Awkward First Times, Eating Disorders, Eventual Smut, First Dates, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, He just moved in town with his family, Luke Had A Crush on Michael - Freeform, Luke Has An Eating Disorder, M/M, Panic Attacks, Recovery, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Triggers, Underage Drinking, but they're still musicians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-03-05 06:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3109316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikiNemeth/pseuds/NikiNemeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They knew about his panic attacks, they were aware that he hadn't been doing too well recently. No one really knew what was going on with Luke, not really. Not even his best friends or his family. He kept it to himself, hiding the truth deep inside - he wasn't excepting that anyone would ever figure out what he was struggling with. He never really wanted anyone to know, but this new kid, this Ashton really did start to wonder if he'd ever seen him eat,  and why Luke always wore hoodies even when it was hot out there. Maybe he wasn't the only one with secrets?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hii guys! English isn't my native language so please forgive me if you notice any mistakes.

He couldn’t exactly tell when it all started to get worse. Maybe last year when Michael and Calum _finally_ became a couple. It was so obvious they were madly in love but it was a slow build relationship between them. That was why Luke never told anyone that he kinda sorta had a crush on Michael too.  And they started to hang out together more and they often forgot to invite Luke to just ’come with us it’ll be fun’. Of course he felt useless since he practically _had_ to spend his Friday nights alone instead of being with his best friends, but he accepted it. After all, they were _together for god’s sake_. Truth to be told Luke wouldn’t even want to be there and feel awkward everytime they were making out.

But really, it wasn’t their fault. He’d always considered himself a little bit too emotional and sensitive and he couldn’t help but take everything too seriously, take things as an insult even if those things didn’t mean to hurt him. Probably that’s why his arms were covered with angry and deep scars since 7th grade. It was something already hard enough to hide, he really just couldn’t seem to handle the eating disorders he’d developed throughout the past year.  Luke just wanted it to be over _already_ – he felt like he had no one aside from his family. Though if he wanted to be completely honest it **_hurt_** him how his brothers and parents didn’t notice that he made himself throw up after every meal, it **_hurt_** him how no one noticed the scars or if he hadn’t been eating for days. He wasn’t even sure if anyone would notice if he disappeared.

It was the first day in school after the Christmas holidays. Luke couldn’t help but feel like everyone was watching him since he was certain that he’d gained weight in the last two weeks due to family dinners. It lead to new cuts and he hated himself for not being able to control his mind. He didn’t even want to meet Mike and Calum, he just wanted to go home and hide until he got _dangerously skinny again._

”Lukey!” They still cared about him, though. They never really let him be alone at school, it was only that they didn’t hang out anymore, just like they used to. Hearing Calum’s voice, Luke faked a smile on his face before he turned around to face them – _wait, who was **that guy** with them?_

”Happy New Year!” Michael said with a huge smile, and he just realized that they haven’t spoken since Christmas, and it wasn’t only their fault because Luke didn’t make any move to talk to them either.

„Happy New Year guys.” He replied, glancing at the stranger boy standing next to Calum.

„Oh, yeah, look who we found,” Calum started before he could ask anything, ”Luke, this is Ashton. Ashton, he’s Luke. They just moved in town. We met on the bus this morning and Michael decided to keep him because he can play drums _, plus_ he seems really nice.”

”Nice to meet you, Luke.” The curly haired boy gave Luke a sheepish smile, biting his lower lip in an anxious manner as he held out a hand toward him.   _Damn_ , he really did have an adorable smile.

”Nice to meet you, too.” Luke responded, returning a smile as they shook hands. He didn’t know if Ashton was gonna stick around or he’d find others to befriend, but he was sure that he wanted to get to know him and he couldn’t even find an acceptable reason why.

Ashton could tell something wasn’t completely okay with Luke the first time he looked at him – he had those dark circles under his eyes like he wasn’t getting proper sleep, his skin was pale and his legs were too damn skinny. Well, he was sure it wasn’t only his legs but with that oversized hoodie he wore Ashton couldn’t tell if he was underweight or not but he wasn’t the one to judge. But _oh shit_ , as he looked at him from head to toe he had this weird feeling rushing over him – he did _not_ like piercings but this Luke kid looked pretty hot having his lip pierced and **_his eyes._** Oh, well.

He shook his head slightly, eyeing the floor a second later – he _needed_ to get to know him. Aside from that in his opinion Luke had the bluest eyes, he also could tell that _he wasn’t alright_. He _knew_ , because when Ashton looked in the mirror he saw the same.

”Speaking of which, how come you weren’t on the bus? Did your mom drive you to school or…?” Calum furrowed his brows, intertwining his fingers with Mike, rubbing his eyes lazily. Everyone’s sleeping schedule must have been messed up. That’s what holidays do.

”No, I – uh – I was walking. Thought it’d help if I start the day with freezing so I can stay awake during the first lesson due to feeling cold. I know, it’s stupid. Makes no sense _.”   Actually, I decided not to take the bus to have the chance to burn a few calories with walking 30 minutes, not to mention that I heard that feeling cold also burn calories, so yeah that’s why I was risking to get cold._ Luke rubbed the back of his neck, feeling bad for lying all the time, feeling embarassed for acting this awkward, especially in front of Ashton. He still didn’t know why he cared about what he thought of him but he tried to just shake off this feeling.

”Yeah, as you say, it doesn’t make sense why would you even get up earlier to walk to school. You’re such a weirdo.” Michael added jokingly with a huff of laughter, the word _weirdo_ feeling like a stab in the back but only did he was bite his tongue.

”Yeah, anyway – ”

”It’s not that weird.” Ashton cut Luke off softly, looking at the blonde boy in front of him, earning a strange look from Michael, ”Actually I think it’s not weird at all. ”

Calum looked over at the green eyed boy before glancing at Luke with a faint smile,

”Well, at least now we know someone who understands your _not-that-weird_ things.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that it won't be always depressing and stuff, just trying to make you understand what's going on. Any comments, remarks would be nice! :) xx


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there's any mistake I'm so sorry but it's 2am here and I just finished writing this chapter!

„How’s your first day so far?”

It was lunchtime (more like torture time for Luke) when they got the chance to talk properly again. Right after Ashton said that he didn’t find weird that he was walking to school instead of taking the bus, Luke felt an urge to just blurt out every _not-that-weird_ thing in hope he’d understand. That’s when he realized that he really did need someone to talk to. Maybe he should have done it earlier, maybe he should have told Mike and Calum or to his mom (his brothers and dad wouldn’t understand so that wasn’t an option) _those_ things, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. So why did he feel like he’d open up for Ashton if he asked? He was _so different_ but he couldn’t pinpoint why.

„Surprisingly good. I was a bit anxious that no one would want to talk to me or help me but turned out I was wrong. Everyone seems nice, even the teachers.” Ashton replied to Calum with a little smile between two bites, eyeing Luke sitting there and _why the hell was he worried about him not eating?_

„Yeah it’s pretty cool here. You’ll like it, that’s for sure.”

„Um – Luke?” He didn’t really seem to pay attention to Calum’s reply, he was kinda distracted by Luke but he couldn’t tell if it was because of him playing with his lip piercing or simply because the thought of him not having any kind of food for lunch made him concerned.

„ – Yeah?” He glanced at the boy with a surprised look, not really expecting any of them wanting to talk to him, especially not Ashton. Luke wasn’t planning on to stare at him while waiting for his reply, but he just couldn’t turn his head in an other direction.

„Uh –”  He started, biting his lower lip ~~and wow **that** was damn was hot ~~ , trying to find the words but he knew it wasn’t going to be an easy topic to bring up. Why he was the one trying to ask him why he wasn’t eating and not Calum or Michael was a riddle for him.

„Are you okay? Just making sure because you aren’t eating.” He said softly, not wanting to make him embarassed or anything but he **wanted** to know.

There was an awkward silence and Michael and Calum exchanged a look – of course they knew something wasn’t alright with Luke. He never ate lunch. He always said he’d eat at home as soon as he got home and initially they believed him but they also noticed him keep losing weight. They noticed him being barely able to walk sometimes and they were starting to suspect that something serious was going on but Luke always got mad and said everything was just peachy when they tried to talk to him. Only thing they could do was force themselves to believe him.

„Yeah, sure. I just, I – ate too much for breakfast so I’m not really hungry.” He _lied_ and christ how much he hated himself for lying to _him._ He also saw how his friends gave each other _that_ look and he was sure that Ashton saw it too. Now, that was one of the moments he wished he could turn invisible.

Before Ashton could say anything, Michael clapped his hands together after finishing his lunch and looked over at the curly haired boy, throwing an arm around Calum’s waist, „So, Ashton, has anyone lead you around the town yet?”

He had a hard time looking away from Luke because he was aware that he really did bring up an unpleasant topic. Maybe he was right when he assumed that Luke was _too_ skinny. _Shit,_ he just wanted to take it back and make that look go away because right now, only he could see was pure pain on the blonde boy’s face.

Luke looked down a second after Mike practically just saved him from Ashton asking an other questions. He started to chew on his lip unconsciously – it was one of the bad habits of he used when he felt the anxiety taking over him.

Ashton took a breath before finally glancing at Michael and shaking his head, „No, not yet. We didn’t have the chance to look around yet and to be honest I was actually hoping that you guys would show me a few things.”

„It’s fine by me. I gotta go home after school because I promised Mali I’d help her make dinner to her friends and I guess Mikey’s coming with me so after we finished we can meet somewhere.” Michael just nodded in agreement, letting Calum organize this whole thing, „What about you Luke? Are you free in the afternoon?”

Well, Luke wanted to go with them, he really did. But he didn’t want to be just there and feel like an outcast for barely speaking and not being cool like Calum and Michael were. He was about to decline but it was Michael who decided to cut him off,

„Of course he is.” He said with a grin, winking at Luke the hottest way he possibly could and for a brief moment it made him question if he still liked the boy or not. _Stupid, stupid_ feelings.

„Awesome!” Ashton giggled, making Luke feel like his heart just skipped a beat _. **Oh my god** , those dimples. _He didn’t even realize but a small smile spread across his face at the sound of Ashton’s giggle.

„You could maybe walk him home so that he knows how to get here if he misses the bus one day.” Michael added, a smile playing on his lips – yeah, _maybe_ Luke didn’t notice the way Ashton made him smile for **_real_** , but Michael did. Even Calum did.

„Oh, no, he doesn’t – „ Ashton shook his head before glancing at Luke, „- you you don’t have to, I mean – yeah, I’d be grateful but I don’t wanna force you into things. I don’t want to make anyone feel like I’m taking advantage on you.”

It was Luke’s turn to choose. He only had a few seconds to play scenarios in his head, like what if there was an awkward silence or what if he’d do something totally embarassing or what was he supposed to talk about with him, _but **jesus** how could he say no?_

„No, it’s okay. I’m walking you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess it's a bit longer than the first one? Not sure though.  
> Also I know we're barely moving forward but don't worry we'll hurry up in the next chapter. c:


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((((idek what is this i'm a trash sorry.))))

The rest of the day has passed real quickly and Luke was kinda thankful but on the other hand he knew that he still promised to walk Ashton home. Not that he mind, though. It was just that he honestly didn’t have any idea what he was supposed to talk about with him or what if there’d be that awkward silence. He wasn’t really the type of person who talked much, only if he felt comfortable around someone. Ashton? Well, he was the typical _good looking, adorable_ but _hot_ at the same time ~~(which he didn’t know how was even legal)~~ kind of person and he was thinking that he’d never feel comfortable around him because Luke thought he was way more _better_ than him _, in every possible way._ God, but he was stupid enough to offer his help and there was no turning back. At least he didn’t have to go home, which meant that he could avoid food hopefully all day long.

„Thanks for walking me home.” It was the first thing Ashton said when they stepped outside after saying goodbye to Calum and Michael. They were going to meet in front of the school as soon as Calum was done with helping to his sister. But _damn_ , it was so cold outside Luke swore he could feel himself turning into an ice block or something. He knew it wasn’t completely normal since it was barely sub-zero temperatures out there and he had at least five layers on him. His subconscious knew that it was because he was ~~a bit~~ underweight but he really _couldn’t_ believe it, even if it was true.

„Anytime. I prefer walking anyway.”

„- can I ask you something?” Luke was thinking that maybe Ashton was the kinda person who didn’t let the _awkward silence_ thing happen and it made him relieved. He just replied a nod, feeling like his lips freezed together.

„What it is with Calum and Michael? Are they like… together?” He asked softly, inquiringly raising a brow – he didn’t want to seem stupid for asking this but he just wasn’t sure.

Luke just took a deep breath, feeling this weird ache in his chest and he still didn’t know if it was because he still liked Mike (which he clearly couldn’t decide anymore but nowadays he started to manage to convince himself that _he did not_ ) or because that was the exact reason why they started to neglect him.

„Yeah.” Luke replied, his gaze dropping to the ground as he bit his lip.

„Oh. Got it. – No offense but you don’t seem like you’re happy about this.” Ashton never once glanced away from the blonde boy, he was watching every reaction he made.

„Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy about _them_.” And that was the first time he was going to _talk a little bit more_ than he did in the whole day, „I just – first off, I – _„ Was he really going to admit how he felt to ~~a completely stranger~~ Ashton? He really didn’t want to complain, no way in hell._ „Nevermind, it’s _– it’s stupid._ ”

„Come on, you already made me curious and I’m sure it’s _not_ stupid.” Ashton himself still couldn’t explain why was he so curious, and it wasn’t just about this topic. He wanted to know literally everything about Luke, from the moment he was born until this very moment and he convinced himself that he didn’t need a reason for that. At first he was thinking that it was because he looked incredibly hot but he wasn’t stupid – as the day passed he started to notice the little things he probably didn’t even know he was doing. How he was playing with his lip ring when he was nervous or how he avoided everyone’s gaze when he was only faking a smile.

„It is stupid that I used to have a crush on Michael.” _Oh, wow. Did he really just tell him?_ For a second Ashton felt like he was hit by a truck and he could hardly shake this feeling off.

„Do – do you still?” He was even surprised that he asked back - _why did he care anyway? It’s not like it was his business but he just needed to know._

„ _No_ , but – but I feel like they couldn’t care less about me since they’re together, y’know?” He added softly, shrugging slightly like it was nothing but in reality it hurt him _so much_ and he only realized that right at that very moment. At first Ashton let out a _relieved_ sigh but he immediately felt bad for Luke. He knew how people started to neglect their friends when they were going out with someone and he always thought that was a pretty rude thing.

„I’m sorry but this is so unfair. I mean, okay, I understand that they put each other in front of everything but this doesn’t mean that they should forget about you. Not to mention that I have no idea how could anyone do this to _you_ because to me you seem like a person _not easy to forget_.”

Luke turned his head toward him, a soft smile spreading across his lip – it was cute how he stood up for him. It felt good that he finally told someone and they agreed. It felt good that Ashton seemed to care about his feelings.  On the other hand, they both knew it wasn’t helping the situation. Luke wasn’t going to mean more to his best friends just because Ashton was thinking that it was unfair.

„What do you mean I’m not easy to forget?” Also, this sentence left Luke thinking if Ashton really meant it or just wanted to make him feel better about himself.

„What do I – uh, I mean – „ Ashton _hated_ how he always blurt out his thoughts and feelings in light speed, no matter what he couldn’t stop himself because he wasn’t thinking it through.

„I don’t know, I just – this is gonna sound real weird and probably awkward but it’s the fact how I really don’t like any kind of piercing but I think I do now.” He replied softly, trying to avoid the other’s gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck – _shit,_ he really wasn’t able to keep his mouth shut.

Luke wasn’t sure how to respond or how to even react because he didn’t know what was his purpose. _Was he really just trying to make him feel better or just wanted to tell him that he liked his piercing?_ Either way, it made him giggle softly and staring at the sidewalk awkwardly when they stopped in front of Ashton’s house.

„Well – I really don’t know what to say. Thanks?” He rubbed his nose nervously then pressed his lips together as he slowly looked up at the curly haired boy and at that moment he wasn’t sure if Ashton was blushing or his cheeks were simply red because of the cold.

„It should be me thanking you for walking me home, so thank you.” Ashton replied, trying to divert the topic because he already made himself embarassed and he didn’t want to make Luke feel uncomfortable either.

„No problem.” He said in a barely audible tone, feeling his whole body trembling – _was it really this cold outside? No, he didn’t think so._ Ashton certainly wasn’t trembling so it couldn’t be. _Maybe he was only just this messed up._

„Luke?”

This was probably the first time Ashton said his name. _Why did it sound different from his mouth?_

„Are you okay? You’re _trembling._ ” He took a small step closer, searching for the other boy’s gaze, wanting to make sure he was alright. When Luke finally brought himself to look at him and before he could ~~reply~~ lie and say that everything was fine, Ashton already _grabbed him by the wrist_ and dragged him toward the door. That was the exact moment Luke hissed in pain because _shit_ , his scars were way too deep to heal within a day. He just clenched his teeth, feeling the blood soaking his sleeves. Still, there was _this feeling_ washing over him when Ashton grabbed his wrist which he couldn’t explain.

And of course Ashton wasn’t deaf, he heard Luke hissing and he even could feel something warm soaking through the layers. He stopped in front of the door, letting go of his hand and swallowing hard. _Congratulations Irwin, you just fucked up._

Luke wasn’t sure if he was supposed to turn his back on Ashton and run away then changing his name and move to the North Pole or stay there and break down. But he just stood there, completely shocked as they both looked down to take a look at the green eyed boy’s somewhat bloody hand.   _That’s it. His secret was out._

„I’m – I’m – I should – ”

„No, no way – I’m not letting you home in this condition.” He cut him off, wanting to punch himself in the face – right, he couldn’t know, at least that’s what he was trying to reassure himself with. But it made his heart break seeing Luke standing there, trying to fight back his tears because he felt _so damn ashamed_ , he felt like the rug had been pulled out under him and he suddenly found it hard to breath.

„Luke, Luke, hey – ” Ashton cupped the boy’s face, staring into those teary blue eyes, wanting to comfort him, wanting to let him know that he had nothing to be ashamed of, that he was in safe and for God’s sake, he wanted to just let him know that there was nothing what was able to scare Ashton off.

 Sniffing loudly, Luke looked into the other’s eyes, blinking away his tears – _how could Ashton be so calm? How come he didn’t freak out? Why was he still so kind to him? What the hell was even going on?_

„It’s – it’s gonna be okay, I’m gonna take care of it. Trust me. You’re gonna be just fine.” He gave him a weak smile, knowing that it was his fault and it made him feel utterly bad, it made want to rip open _his own scars_. „ _Okay?_ ”

Luke opened his mouth to speak, but he really didn’t want him to see those scars, and if he saw them he’d need to explain and he was sure Ashton already thought he was a freaking weirdo for doing this to himself. But he was still there, and he still didn’t freak out. Even more, he wanted to take care of it and that was something Luke couldn’t really understand why but it made him trust Ashton. He wasn’t used to being helped out, he didn’t like let people help him but he really did think that this time, this person was different. So instead of pulling away, instead of running away, after a few moments of thinking Luke slowly nodded his head,

„ _Okay._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Okaaaay so I was thinking that because it's kinda fetus Lashton they're same height and Luke isn't taller than the Empire State Building just yet.]


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there's any mistake I didn't check it yet bc it's 3am but here we go.

The next moment Luke found himself in the living room of the Irwin family. He didn’t know much about them. He didn’t know if Ashton had siblings or if his parents were okay with him coming over because this was the first school day. He suspected it might be weird that Ashton let someone come over when they only met a few hours ago.

“Here, can you push it against it while we say hi to my mom?”  He asked softly after reaching out for a tissue and pressing it against Luke’s wrist. He could tell how he was worried just by the way he talked. But if it wasn’t obvious enough, Luke could even tell because his expression showed nothing but worry.

“- Yeah, don’t worry, I got it.” Luke replied in a barely audible tone, making sure to place the tissue under his bracelets so it would stay in it’s place. Ashton let out a sigh, _because how could he not worry when he was the one hurting Luke?_ Instead of saying anything else, he just nodded and stroked his arm and Luke swore his heart beat faster for a second.

“Mom?” Ashton called out as he made his way toward the kitchen slowly, waiting for the blonde one to catch up. They stepped inside at the same time, Luke not wanting to leave the other’s side. _Like ever._

“Ash! How was your – “ His mom turned around to face his son but seeing Luke made her surprised. _Wow, he felt so uncomfortable. She clearly didn’t expect anyone coming over and now there was a stranger standing in the kitchen._

“Hi mom, this is Luke. Luke, this is my mom,” Luke faked the best smile he could before speaking,

“- Um, hi, Mrs. Irwin.” He greeted softly, trying to make a good first impression but he was so damn embarrassed all he wanted to do was hide behind Ashton’s back or anywhere else as a matter of fact.

“Please, just call me Anne Marie.” She added with a smile, seeming happy and okay with him being there. It made Luke feel a bit of a relief but he still felt like just a bother.

“- And my day was fine, mom, see I’ve made friends so I hope you don’t mind him being here for a while?” He spoke with an angelic smile on his face, making it obvious that he would talk to her some other time about his first day. Fortunately his mom knew him enough to get the signs and she didn’t ask anything else.

“Of course I don’t. I’m happy you already made friends.” Luke could tell that she was _really_ happy so he supposed Ashton had a great relationship with his mom. “Peachy. Thanks mom.”

When Ashton was about to turn around and head upstairs with Luke, her mom stopped them with the _worst possible question ever._

“Are you two hungry? I just finished making lunch and it’s still warm.”

_No, please –_

“Sure, we’ll just go upstairs to take our stuff to my room and I’ll show Luke around. We’ll be back in a couple.”

Luke swallowed hard and just stood there, feeling like throwing up even when just the thought of eating.   _No way in hell he wanted any calories digested._ Ashton then turned back toward Luke again, furrowing his brows at the sight of the blue eyed boy – he looked kinda pale, even more pale than he actually is and it made him wonder if it was because he was bleeding that bad.

“C’mon.” He whispered, taking his hand like it was a completely normal thing to lead him upstairs. All these things happened so fast, all these feelings overwhelming him just _by a touch_ caused his head aching. Luke wasn’t even sure why was he there anymore, he wasn’t even sure that he wanted to be there because he didn’t want to get too attached to Ashton. He didn’t want to be left alone in the end. He just didn’t want the pain. But on the other hand – _why was he even thinking about that Ashton would want to hang out after what just happened?_

As soon as they got into his room, Ashton let go of his hand before he pulled out his drawer to grab the antiseptic and the band-aid – it wasn’t only the he was the one to blame for hurting Luke, but he also _knew_ how much pain he had to be in to do _that_ to himself.

“Take off your hoodie and your bracelets.” Ashton sat down on his bed, patting the spot beside him – but then again, Luke reminded himself that he was _too fat_ to only wear a shirt and anyway, _he was cold._ _He supposed they were good reasons to wear two sweaters._

He slowly moved to sit down next to him, “How about – how about I just roll up the sleeve? I’m cold.”

Ashton wasn’t arguing. He really just wanted to make sure those scars would stop bleeding. However he was shocked to see that Luke’s forearm looked like exactly like his – he hated to know that there was someone like him, that someone was doing the same thing that he was doing to himself. It was only Luke’s sudden question that snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Why are you helping me?”

“Why are you harming that beautiful body of yours?”

It’s not that Ashton didn’t know – because he did know that was probably the only way to cope with the pain, because he thought he deserved it. But he wanted to know the _real_ reason.

Luke looked down, biting his lower lip – he knew that Ashton thought he was a freak, he just knew. Why was he even hoping that he didn’t? That’s exactly why he was trying to hide it and it was ridiculous how he couldn’t be more careful this time. He hated himself for forcing Ashton into this situation.

Noticing the expression on other’s face, the curly haired shook his head, “Oh – no, hey – Luke.” He started after he finally was done with infecting and applied the band aid on his scars. Luke’s eyes met  Ashton’s when the boy said his name, feeling like crying and _he just wanted to go home and make new scars because he deserved it and –_

“I didn’t mean in that way.” He wanted to explain, knowing for sure what Luke thought he meant. _Why was he so stupid to do this._ But apparently, _he was wrong._

“I know how you meant, Ashton – you – you probably think that it’s stupid and that I’m a weirdo and I’m sure you never even want to see me again – “

“I want to know why. I want to know the _reason_ and I’m not talking about the pain you feel when you drag the blade across your skin and or the thoughts in your mind that just won’t shut up no matter how hard you try to make them go away. Because _I already know_ that part of the story.”

Luke’s eyes widened and he wasn’t sure that he heard it right _– he knew that part of the story?_ He just sat there, opened his mouth to speak, trying to find the right words, the right question but he just wasn’t sure how to react. Also the thought of Ashton harming his own self made his heart break into tiny pieces.

“ _I know_ because I’ve been there.” Ashton added softly while rolling up his own sleeve – he’d never admitted or showed this to anyone. He didn’t know why Luke was the only one, he didn’t know why he cared for him from the first time he laid his eyes on him. In the morning he didn’t know about _this_ so this definitely wasn’t the reason why he wanted to be around him. He just wanted Luke to _trust_ him _._

Ashton managed sparing him from asking any question or say anything but it didn’t spare him for feeling like he had been punched in the gut. Seeing scars on ~~someone else’s~~ Ashton’s forearm felt so painful it almost made him choke on his own words.

“I don’t think I can talk about it right now.” He whispered his reply, trying not to sound stupid while trying to fight back all the tears. _He felt bad for assuming that Ashton thought he was a freak._

“It’s okay.” Ashton said softly before pulling his sleeve down, “I wouldn’t be able either. I just – I just want you to know that _I’m here_ , alright? And I’m not going anywhere. Unless you want me to.”

“Why are you – why do you care? No one does _. No one.”_ That was the exact moment he couldn’t help but let a tear roll down his cheek. Luke honestly didn’t understand why Ashton wanted to help him, why he even wanted to be around him. But he was there and he was offering his help and he made him feel like he wasn’t alone anymore. He made him feel like this world wasn’t as bad as he thought it was, and even that smile of his was able to brighten up his day and he just couldn’t understand how someone was able to make him feel like this.

“Well, hot news – I do. I care. And I don’t need any reason for that.” Ashton said as a little smile spread across his face, moving closer to wipe away his tear, “You know at first I thought it was because of those impossibly blue eyes of yours but then I saw your smile when we had lunch and I was thinking how I could spend hours just watching you smiling and I just – I don’t know. I’m not really good with words and feelings so don’t make me try to explain.”

Luke pressed his lips together before letting out a huff of laughter, feeling himself blushing _– what was Ashton even talking about?_ He just didn’t understand what was going on or why he told him things like that but what he really did not understand was how he felt the same about him. He didn’t know what this whole thing meant just yet, but he knew that he really did want Ashton to stick around. He made him feel _alive._

“Sorry. I tend to _blurt out things_ and _doing things_ without thinking them through.” He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling suddenly embarrassed for saying these out of nowhere. _God, was he falling for Luke?_

 _“_ It’s –uh – okay. Don’t be sorry, I just – no one ever tells me things like that. Nor have anyone helped me. It’s not like anyone knows.”

“So Calum and Michael don’t know about this?”

“Not really.”

Ashton sighed softly, noticing that it wasn’t the most pleasant topic for Luke to talk about and he wasn’t the one to push him. He really just wanted him to open up, not force him to open up. So instead of saying anything else, without thinking twice he just put his arms around the fragile boy in front of him, although he wasn’t sure if he was okay with this.

But Luke was soon to make his doubts go away - he buried his face in Ashton’s chest, wrapping his own hands around him and _oh god_ how much he needed this kind of comfort. He didn’t even notice until now, he didn’t even realize how much he was craving someone like him. Someone who promised to be there, someone who didn’t think he was crazy, someone who _understood._ He never wanted Ashton to let him go, he felt like he was home in his arms, like no one and nothing could ever hurt him anymore because held him so tight he felt like nothing even mattered. _Damn, he was falling so hard. They both fell so hard._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so shitty i'm so sorry


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter took a month (more or less), and it's not even that good :(

„No way.” He exclaimed when he saw one of his favorite’s bands album lying on the floor. Luke, well, he was lying in Ashton’s lap for a hour or so. He wasn’t looking for reasons why he trust the green eyed boy anymore. He proved that he had nothing to be afraid of because Ashton wasn’t gonna tell anyone, especially not to Michael and Calum. He proved that he really did care. As long as Luke was telling him all the things that no one knew about him, he just sat there and listened to him while caressing his arm gently. He didn’t ask, he wasn’t looking for an explanation why he was doing those things because he understood every word that left Luke’s mouth. Though he hadn’t told him about his eating disorders just yet. It was already hard enough to talk about the reason why his forearm looked like the way it did.

„What happened?”

 Luke stood up to make his way toward the corner – Ashton’s room was still a completely mess due that they just moved in here and since he didn’t get to pack his stuff out of the boxes they were all around the room.

„You like All Time Low?” He asked while picking up the empty album from the floor with a smile on his face. A bright smile spread across on Ashton’s face the moment he heard the band’s name. He stood up right after to follow Luke. „No way,” He said once he stood right next to the blonde boy. „You like them too?”

„Like? More like worshipping. I love them.” Luke added with a grin, glancing at Ashton then back at the album in his hand. „What else do you like?”

„Uhm – it has to be here somewhere.” Ashton mumbled before looking around, clearly looking for something and as soon as he found a bit smaller box (compared to the other ones) he sat down on the floor, pulling it closer to himself. A second later Luke was sitting right next to Ashton, just watching him unwrapping the box and seeing all the albums that he took in his hands.

“These bands literally saved my life. Music was there for me when nobody was.” Ashton admitted softly, handing a bunch of albums to him. Luke knew how the green eyed boy felt, there were times when the only thing helped him through days when he wanted to end it all was listening to music. He looked down at the CDs in his hands, watching each one carefully. There were some bands he didn’t listen to though he heard of them, say Of Mice & Man and You Me At Six.  Now he was long to get to know them.

“Oh my god.” Luke breathed out before and excited smile appeared on his face. He really just couldn’t believe that even their music taste was almost the same. “Can we listen to this one? Please?” He asked, handing back a Pierce The Veil album to him. It didn’t take too much for Ashton’s lips to curl into a smile – _wow, he thought it was impossible to like him even more._

Ashton stood up and made his way toward the hi-fi – there were only a few things already packed out, and the hi-fi was one of them. Turning it on, he took out the All Time Low CD and replaced it with Pierce The Veil. He pushed the ‘play’ button and looked over at Luke before giving him a small smile.

Luke got up from the floor while the curly haired boy placed the ATL CD back in it’s album, then he took his hand and nudged him back to his bed. Luke fell back to the bed, still with the same smile on his face and he glanced at Ashton.

“It’s funny.” Ashton murmured softly, mostly to himself, ”I thought you couldn’t be more perfect and then bam. Turns out you like the same music as me.” He looked at the boy next to him, and he swore his blue eyes shined so much brighter when he was smiling. Luke turned his head and stroked the back of his neck nervously, he wasn’t used to someone saying things like that to him, but it made him feel happy and that was new for him. He couldn’t even remember the last time he smiled so much just in one day. He felt comfortable around him, like he knew him since years, but he was still a bit anxious. He didn’t want to do anything stupid around him that would make Ashton think he was awkward or just simply retarded.

“I’m not even close to _that_ thing.”

“To what? Perfect?”

Luke looked up when he heard the song ‘Hold on til May’ coming up, and he decided to just divert the topic. Yes, he did think he wasn’t perfect, in fact, he thought he was the most imperfect person in the whole wide world and he didn’t want Ashton to start and try to prove him wrong.

“That’s my favorite song on the album.” Luke told him while looking over at him – it was obvious for Ashton that he didn’t want to talk about _that_ thing, and he didn’t blame him, so he let it sink.

“Yeah, it’s a treasure. Though I like the acoustic version a bit better.” Ashton agreed and he heard three little knocks on the door.

“Come in.” He called out, looking to the direction of the door and he gave his mum a smile when she stepped in.

“Hi,” She smiled fondly at them, she was happy that Luke was still there. She was aware that Ashton wasn’t really that type to make friends easily but it was his first day at school and he already had one. “I made lunch for you two.”

That sentence was like a thunderbolt to the heart for Luke, he could feel his stomach growling just at the thought of food, like it was literally begging for him to eat, but then he looked down at his thighs and he decided he didn’t deserve any kind of food, not even a bite.

“Thank mum, we’ll be down in a sec.” Ashton smiled back at her.

“When will you pack your stuff out of those boxes sweetie? Your room is a complete mess.” She furrowed her brows after looking around the room, then glancing at her son.

“I will. Eventually. I promise. I just have to figure out where to put things. Don’t push me on this, I hate moving.” He pouted and stood up, looking at Luke who was still sitting on his bed, looking more pale than usual, like he just saw a ghost or something. Ashton looked confused – he saw, he _knew_ something was wrong.

“Give us a minute.” He asked Anne Marie, and she nodded in agreement before leaving the room. Ashton then sat back down next to the blonde boy, staring at him.

“You okay?” He asked him softly, reaching out slowly to take his hand, to get his attention and raised a brow. Luke’s response was a simply shook of his head – no, he wasn’t. He could have lied that everything was fine and go down and eat a _normal portion of lunch_ (which scared him to death) but he was sure that the guilt would tear him apart but he didn’t want that. He didn’t need that feeling.

“What’s wrong?”

Luke opened his mouth to say something, anything – but he didn’t want Ashton to be disgusted by him. He was the only one understanding him, he was the only one giving a damn about him after such a long time and now he was supposed to tell him about his eating habits?

“You can tell me, Luke. It’s okay, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Whatever it is.”

“I just –“ Luke knew he had to say something, to explain, to somehow avoid eating lunch. He trust Ashton, he believed that he would stay. He just didn’t want him to think that he was disgusting. “It’s just – the food.” He muttered, looking down at their hands. Ashton’s long fingers intertwined his own, and he felt like his heart beating a bit faster.

Ashton wanted to say that he knew it – the first time he laid his eyes on him, he noticed immediately how skinny he was. He was wishing it wasn’t true, though. He didn’t know much about this disorder, he didn’t know how deep Luke was in this but it terrified him. Ashton was now really concerned about his condition, about his well-being. He had so many questions, like _how long? Why? Who did that to him, what has happened to him that made him starve himself, that made him hate himself?_ Ashton was aware he had to wait with these and for now, he just wanted him to know that he was there, no matter what.

“Hey, it’s okay.” _God, he was so worried_.  “It’s okay.” He had a hard time finding the right words so Luke interrupted him.

“No, it’s not. It’s not because I’m disgusting and I don’t want to put my problems on your shoulders. I should have been more careful with my wrist and then I wouldn’t be sitting here and I could prevent you from getting involved in my shitty life, because in the end everyone wants to run away from me because I’m just too much. Too much problem.” Luke gabbled with tears in his eyes, sniffing as he looked up at the ceiling to prevent the tears rolling down his face.

“Stop, for God’s sake. Let _me_ decide if you’re too much or not. Let _me_ decide if I want to be involved in your life and let _me_ decide what I think of you. Because you’re the _farthest_ thing from disgusting, and you’re like the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Ashton replied, his accent getting thicker when a little nervousness showed in his voice. “I’ve never met someone like you, it’s been only a day and you already made me feel so much better about myself. The music I listen to? I got bullied for it in my previous school. I got bullied for my hair, for the cuts on my arm and now, a week later I’m sitting here, in my own room with a boy who understand and is _alike me._ No one ever came over to my house. No one has been ever so honest to me like you are. No one ever trust me that much to tell me about their life. You’re the first one ever and if you think I’m stupid enough to let you go just because your wings are broken then you’ve gotta think again.” He bit his lower lip, not even noticing that he squeezed his hand gently as he spoke, not even caring about that Luke looked so surprised about Ashton saying things like that.

Luke swallowed hard, staring into Ashton’s eyes he let his tears finally escape his eyes. He shook his head, wiping away his tears with his free hand and looking down. “Why are you so kind to me?” He really had no idea what he has done to make the green eyed boy feel in this way, but if he meant all the things he said then Luke didn’t even want him to let him go. Not just because he really felt this _weird_ thing in his stomach, not just because he made him feel like he was worth living but because he felt like that now on he wouldn’t be able to let him go either. He couldn’t really pinpoint _yet_ ~~how~~ what he felt, but it was something good, something he was craving and it made him wonder if Ashton felt the same toward him.

“I don’t need a reason. I just think you’re perfect the way you are – just like you were made for me. And nothing can ever change that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so in the next (few) chapter(s) I'm planning something big, it won't be this boring I swear, I just really wanted to write those things when they (not so) slowly fall in love and they aren't even aware, also I wanted to pay attention to when Luke admits these thing and all that stuff because I myself am dealing with these things and it just felt good to let it out.  
> oh and please if you liked it leave a comment or something I love your comments so much they literally make me smile like an idiot. :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is kind of a filler, and it's quick, but in the next chapter exciting things are coming up yay. I already started writing it and I'll upload in the weeked.

It’s been five days.

After that Monday, after Ashton’s first day in school and after the first day Luke was at Ashton’s house, they were always hanging out after school, getting to know each other better each day, falling for each other every day a little harder. They didn’t put it into words though, only those sweet nothings, those nicknames Ashton called Luke, those real smiles on the blonde boy’s face that everyone know Ashton managed to reach. Even Calum and Michael noticed that the curly haired was making Luke happy, because he was smiling so much, and actually laughing with them for the first times in forever, and they even hang out a few times.

It was Friday, and they were supposed to meet at Ashton’s house, the four boys, because he wanted to introduce them too to his mum.

„What do you  mean you can’t come?”

Luke was already at Ashton’s house, he’d been there the whole afternoon and not just because he was waiting for their friends to come, but because he wanted to be with Ashton. They always ended up at Ashton’s house after school, and Luke always told his mum he was with the new boy and his mum always asked him to invite Ashton to their house because she wanted to get to know him, but he always said _maybe next time._

„I mean we can’t. Mali asked us to help and organize a birthday party at our house tonight for her friend and she needs our help.” Calum explained with a sigh, though he wasn’t against it because even they could stay at that party and they could come over to Ashton’s tomorrow as well.

„Oh.” Was all Luke said before eating a little from the salad Ashton made him, because yes, Ashton did manage to make him eat at least a little something every day. Each time he told him baby steps, that he didn’t have to eat much, because Ashton did research and was trying to understand and help Luke through this. They were sitting on his bed still, a Sleeping With Sirens album softly playing in the background. Ashton was eating too, like for the third time since Luke was there, and he turned his head toward the skinny boy and furrowed his brows, wanting to know what was going on.

„But – ” Calum started again, and Luke could hear that he was smiling,

„But?” He asked back, swallowing the piece of food after chewing it like thirty times.

„You are invited too.” He finished his sentence, excitement in his voice – Luke knew exactly what kind of party this is gonna be, and to be honest, he’d never really been at parties at all so that he wasn’t interested in it.

„I don’t think I should go.” Luke said softly, looking over at the boy next to him, who was desperately trying to figure out what were they talking about.

„C’mon, Lukey. I was about to invite Ashton too after we hang up.” Calum pouted and Luke just remembered he forgot to mention that the curly haired boy was beside him because he was at their house, again, for the fifth time in the week.

„I’m at Ashton’s.” He told him with a little smile which he didn’t even notice, but now he figured he was smiling because it sounded so impossible. Ashton was way too perfect to let boys like Luke come over to his house. He was nothing compared to him.

„What the fuck.” Luke could hear Michael giggling from the background and he assumed he was probably put on speakers. The purple haired was actually happy that Luke was with him, he was happy that Luke seemed to be a bit happier each day. They were thinking that the Ashton was a good influence on him.

„Am I on speakers?” He asked with a smile and now Calum giggled too, telling something to his boyfriend Luke couldn’t hear but it surely made Michael burst out laughing.

„Yeah, put me on speakers too, I wanna talk to Ash.” He asked the blonde after a short pause, and now he was kind of scared what he wanted to tell him, but he put them on speakers and held out his hand toward Ashton a bit, so he could hear what he wanted to say. A smile spread across Ashton’s face because finally, he was involved too.

„He wants to talk to you.” He said softly to Ashton and handed him the phone, which he took from him and Luke went back to eating his salad because he was really hungry, and probably veggies and fruits were the only things he wouldn’t throw up right away, so since it was safe food, he could eat it without feeling guilt. Ashton had always paid attention to make those kind of food to Luke he wouldn’t make himself throw up after. He read how much damage that could do to his organs, and Ashton decided to start with small portions, and make him eat more and more each day, even if it meant he was still eating too little. He wouldn’t risk him wanting to puke.

„Hi Calum.” Ashton greeted with a smile, and Luke watched him, _damn those dimples are gonna be the death of him._

„Do you want to come over tonight? It’s gonna be a birthday party, my sister’s best friend’s party, and I think it’s gonna be awesome, obviously, because we’re organizing it with Mikey. I want you both to come over and have some fun. It starts around 7pm.” And Luke was praying Ashton would say no, but then –

„Sure! Sounds cool. We’ll be there. Should we bring something?”

„Yourselves.” Michael added in a somewhat sarcastic way and Calum shook his head at that.

„That can be arranged.” Ashton giggled and Luke swore his smiles could light up and entire universe because it was just honestly so adorable.

„See you lads.” Calum said before hanging up, and Ashton put down Luke’s phone in between them.

„It’s so cool, it’s like my first week in here and I’m already invited to a party.” Ashton said excitedly before finishing the snack he was eating  and glanced at Luke and well, the blonde didn’t really seem to be happy about this party. His tongue playing with his lip ring in an anxious manner, not saying a word. Ashton still found it way too hot, though. Actually, it was making him go crazy. Crazy about him.

„Is everything alright?” He furrowed his brows and moved closer to Luke – he wouldn’t care about the invitation if Luke didn’t want to go. Not only because he didn’t want to go without Luke, but because he wouldn’t feel right making him go there against his will.

But Luke just nodded with the best fake smile he could, and glanced at him only for a brief moment before finishing his dinner, or whatever it was.

„I know it’s not. Don’t give me that fake smile. What’s wrong darling?”

Luke felt like his heart skipped a beat every time Ashton gave him some kind of nickname, because it sounded so nice, and he knew it only meant that he cared about him. And there he was again, trying to lie again, but as soon as he glanced at the curly haired boy, he let out a sigh and shook his head.

„I just don’t want to be a bother.” He told him honestly and put the plate on the bedside table – he was already acting like he was at home or something, and it was so weird for him because he’d never got so comfortable around someone so quickly.

„If you were a bother they wouldn’t have invited you. Believe me, they love you. I can tell. They just love each other the most, but this doesn’t mean you aren’t important to them.” Ashton replied with a fond smile and he had to fight the urge to reach out and rub his thumb along his cheekbone.

„Why are you so sure?” Luke asked softly, staring down at his hands in his lap,

„Because it’s impossible not to love you.” He said before giving in, and placing a hand on Luke’s pale face to get his attention, and it was a success. Luke was now looking at Ashton, his cheeks are slightly red from embarassment, and he wanted to tear his gaze away, because he didn’t want him to see him like that but fuck. Ashton’s eyes were just so beautiful he couldn’t look away, and he even forgot to reply.

„Luke?”

„Y – yeah?”

Ashton didn’t know if he was going to regret this, but he didn’t even care at this point. His feeling were starting to get too overwhelming and he needed to let them out, he needed to know how or what Luke felt.

„Do you – ” Ashton himself looked a little confused and embarassed too as he tried to find the right words,

„I, uh – If I promise you to leave in case you don’t like the whole party thing,” He started, his hand falling from his cheek to Luke’s little hand, interlacing his lanky fingers with his, and it made the blonde look down for a moment, but then immediately, his eyes met Ashton’s again.

„Will you come with me? Like, you know.” Ashton smiled, one of those sheepish and adorable cheeky smiles, when he felt all awkward, when he couldn’t put his thoughts into words.

Luke knew he had to say something, but he stayed quiet for a few moments, and he didn’t know if it was because he couldn’t speak because of the sight in front of him, or he just simply was afraid to ask this from Ashton. But then, he couldn’t help but smile and he pressed his lips in a thin line before speaking.

„Are you asking me out?” He asked softly and bit on his lower lip, not sure if he asked it as a joke or he actually thought Ashton was trying to do that, but the other was quick to prove him he wasn’t wrong.

„I guess I do.”

Luke swore he forgot to even breathe for a moment, his gaze fell on their intertwined fingers again, his thoughts racing, because how was this even possible? Ashton was way too good, and Luke was way to wrecked, and he really didn’t want him to disappoint in him. But at the same time, how could he not want to say yes? Ashton was perfect, in every possible way, he was like his saviour and there it was an opportunity, to thank him for everything, to do something for him, even if he was afraid of this whole thing, even if he didn’t want to get attached to him but he guessed it was already too late.

„Do you – would you like to?” Ashton asked him, because Luke didn’t answer even after a good minute, because he was surely lost in his own thoughts, lost, because he couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

A big smile spread across Luke’s face, and now this party thing didn’t even seem so awful anymore. He was going out with Ashton, for God's sake, with a boy probably every girl wanted, with a boy so handsome, caring and kind-hearted, with a boy who actually liked him enough to stick around, who liked him enough to help him, and Luke was so grateful to him, so happy, and he felt his heart thudding right out of his chest as he replied,

„Gladly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (also sorry if there are any mistakes)  
> any comments or remarks would be nicee :) xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is getting exciting i swear asdfghjkl

Luke wasn’t able to stop smiling ever since Ashton asked him out. He never thought he’d ever feel happy, especially because his life was still a mess, but despite all the things that was still going on with him, he felt happy. Like he had something to live for. He had someone to live for.

But on the other hand, it meant that it was gonna be a date. An actual, real date, and it made Luke scared because he’d never been on a date before, also because it was a date with Ashton. Would it be different than the times they just simply hang out? Would it be the same? What if something goes wrong?

„Do you want to go home before we go to at Calum’s?” Ashton didn’t change his clothes, he didn’t do anything special, like those stupid things Luke saw on TV. He was just him.

„No, I don’t need anything. We can go right there.” He replied, and looked at the clock. It was exactly 7pm, and they were just about to get going. Luke felt a pit forming in his stomach from nervousness, so he started chewing on his lip.

Ashton stepped to him, because he already knew Luke well, too well. He was kind of like and opened book, but Luke was sure it wasn’t about him acting obvious, but it was about Ashton being a mind reader.

„It’s gonna be fun. I promise.” He reached out his arm toward Luke’s face, and he closed his eyes and flinched which made Ashton wonder if he thought he was going to hit him or something. Maybe there were some things Luke was still keeping to himself. Luke only opened his eyes when he felt Ashton’s hand placed gently on his cheek.

However, Ashton was naive to think that Luke was nervous about the party. If it was just that, he wouldn’t care. But apparently, it was something more.

„Okay.” Luke replied with a nod and gave him a small smile.

 

                                                   *                 *                 *                 *                 *

 

There they were. Walking down the street, only a few minutes away from Calum’s house. Luke was literally freezing, because it was still winter but he knew it couldn’t be a normal thing to tremble with six layers on, when Ashton only had three and he was totally alright.

They’d been through this like million times, Ashton asking him if he was alright when they were outside and Luke was shaking. He was aware he was cold, but he was worried, because he knew it wasn’t right.

So, instead of asking, he just put his arm around Luke’s tiny waist, pulling him closer, until their sides were touching and Luke looked down at the ground because he felt his cheeks turning red, and for a moment he swore he stopped shaking because it got too hot.

                                                   *                 *                 *                 *                 *

 

„Finally! Thought you would never came.” Calum giggled when he opened the door for them, and well, he sure wasn’t _thirsty._ He was a bit surprised by the fact how Ashton held Luke with an arm, but he was happy, because Luke seemed happy. The blonde boy was like a brother for him, they knew each other since they were only little kids and he was honestly grateful to Ashton for making Luke feel better. Calum stepped out of the way to let them through.

The music was blasting through the speakers, not too loudly though and Luke was kind of relieved it wasn’t that kind of wild let’s-get-fucking-drunk party. There were a few people lazing around the kitchen, a few people sitting at a table and a bunch of people sitting in the living room. Guess that place was where the real party was, because he spotted Michael there, and then Mali and a few more familiar face. There were alcohol. Lot of alcohol actually, but nobody seemed to be that drunk. Probably because it wasn’t even 8pm, and the birthday girl didn’t get her cake yet.

Ashton took off his jacket and Luke showed him where to put it (Luke had been over at Calum’s house more times he could count so it was like a second home to him). Calum disappeared after telling them how his sister planned to surprise her best friend, told them to come sit in the living room with them. A few seconds later Calum was sitting in Michael’s lap, throwing his arm around his neck with a glass of who knows what in his hand. It seemed everything was totally okay with them being a couple and it made Luke’s lip curl upwards. He thought he’d never be able to tell his brothers or to his parents that he was into boys.

After Luke took off his own jacket and that three oversized hoodies, Ashton took both of his hands in his and turned toward him with a smile on his face.

„It seems like a nice party. I’m glad you came with me.” Luke nodded at that statement and just smiled before looking down at their hands, and he tugged on his lip ring for a moment, then glanced back at the boy in front of him. Damn, how Ashton wanted be the one sucking on that piercing.

 

                                                   *                 *                 *                 *                 *

 

It’s been like a hour.

After introducing themselves to the others, they decided to not to wait more and bring the cake, to celebrate the girl. A lot more people came since that happened, and yes, they missed the cake but they didn’t seem to miss the party.

Calum and Luke were wasted. Michael and Ashton were the ones prevent them from drinking more - it wasn’t like he didn’t drink, he was just still sober enough to think straight.

The music got louder, and almost all the lights went out, people dancing and laughing, drinking and having fun around them. It was only half past 8.

They were sitting on the floor, because Ashton had this weird habit that he liked sitting on the floor so he was the one asking them to sit here. Also, because Calum could easily fall off from the chair, he was that dizzy. Luke was sitting in between Ashton’s legs, his back firmly pressed against his body, Ashton’s arms wrapped around Luke’s fragile one, wanting to take care of him and protect him. He was honestly surprised how he didn’t feel sick due to barely eating that day and drinking that much.

„Hey, let’s play truth or dare.” Calum suggested with a grin, sitting beside Michael, a leg in between his, his shoulder pressed to his boyfriend’s. Luke clapped his hands together in excitement and Ashton swore he’d never seen him like this before, giggling uncontrollably, talking all the time. Calum however was aware how Luke used to be like that.

„Who starts?” Luke asked, not even waiting for Ashton or Michael’s answer, he decided even for them. He could hear Ashton let out a soft laughter from behind him.

„You do.” Michael pointed out with a huge smile spreading across his face and his gaze immediately met with Luke’s blue orbs.

„Truth or dare, Lukey?”

For a moment, his smiled faded away, but then again, there it was again on his face.

„Truth.”

„What a pussy.” Michael snapped with a giggle but Luke just laughed – but maybe it was meant to be like that. He wanted to know anyway what was going on in between Ashton and Luke, and he bet the skinny boy was so drunk if Michael asked he wouldn’t be able to tell where was he.

„What is it with you and Ashton?”

The question left Michael’s mouth made Ashton remember this was supposed to be their first date. He could have said it wasn’t perfect because Luke got drunk, but he couldn’t complain. He was holding Luke in his arms, he was so close to him he could actually hear his heart beating in his ears. And Ashton was so damn curious of what Luke would reply.

Luke’s smile faded again as he thought about his feelings toward the boy, completely forgot about the fact that he was sitting in between his legs. He was thinking, not because he didn’t know how he felt, but because he never talked aout that to anyone. But finally, he shook his head and leaned back, the back of his head bumping slightly against Ashton’s chest as he said, giggling,

„I – I really do love Ashton. I hope he does too. I guess he does, though. He asked me out – ” And that was the exact moment for a couple of minutes he felt like he was sober again. This was supposed to be their first date, and he was completely drunk. He wanted to punch his own self in the face.

But then again, he giggled and shook his head, turning to face Ashton, grinning, his face only a few inches away from Ashton’s,

„Fuck, Ash, I’m sorry.” Luke wanted to be serious because he really was sorry, but he couldn’t get that grin off of his face.

„Hey, - language.” Ashton told jokingly - he wasn’t angry, wasn’t angry at all. He was with Luke, and that was all that mattered to him.

At that, Luke laughed softly and Ashton couldn’t help but smile at how adorbale he looked, and Luke leaned his forehead against Ashton’s, their breath mixed together and the curly haired felt the urge to lean forward and taste those sweet lips, but he didn’t. He wanted Luke to remember their first kiss, and he wanted to taste him and not the alcohol.

So instead, he just pressed a kiss on his cheek and whispered, „You turn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> already started writing the new chapter ;w;   
> spoiler: gonna start with the next day and everything will be weird bc Calum will be acting weird with Luke but Luke doesn't remember why but yall will get to know why (im a trash)  
> sorry for the typos/mistakes!!  
> any comments, remarks would be nice :) xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry for taking this much to update guys :(  
> and so sorry that this chapter is actually not as good as I planned it to be.

The next day Luke woke up, he could tell he wasn’t at home. His eyes were not opened yet, but he could just feel that it just wasn’t his bed he way lying on. Oh, and wait –

His eyes snapped open as soon as he realized his legs were tangled together with someone else’s, and for a moment Luke felt like his heart stopped beating – but when his gaze fell on Ashton’s face, he let out a relieved sigh and he let out a light giggle.

Ashton was awake, even though it was early in the morning. The sun already started to peek over the horizon and the lack of light made Luke’s eyes look a little bit darker. He looked happy, and when Luke woke up and giggled, Ashton couldn’t help but to chuckle.

“Oh my god,” Luke whispered, realizing that they were still at Calum’s and lying in the guest room.

Ashton adored the way Luke looked like, his hair looking like a complete mess, his eyes sleepy and that real smile on his face. He wished he could wake up every day like that, next to Luke.

“Morning.” Ashton greeted softly and smiled, his hand reaching out and rubbing his thumb along his cheekbone. Luke had no idea how did they end up like this, why he wasn’t home or what happened last night. His last memory was Mali bringing the cake to the birthday girl and Calum offering him a drink.

However, Luke’s cheek turned red when Ashton rubbed his cheek and he was grateful that it was dusk otherwise he was embarrassed about the hazel eyed boy seeing him like that, and he’d blush even more.

“Morning.” Luke said softly and bit on his lower lip with a smile, admiring the curly haired boy before ruining the perfect moment. He was kind of worried about doing something stupid - not that drinking so much that he didn’t remember what happened wasn’t stupid though. Luke just hoped he didn’t do anything awkward.

“What happened?” He asked softly, and watched as Ashton’s smile faded. Luke swallowed thickly and his chest tightened a little bit. “I didn’t – we didn’t – “

Ashton then shook his head a little, knowing exactly what Luke meant. “It’s nothing like that.” Their voice got a little louder each time they spoke, and from whispering it went to a normal talking.

“You just drank your ass off.” Ashton said and giggled as he recalled his memories, “But despite that, I really, really liked this whole party thing.”

Luke stayed quiet for a few seconds, his memories slowly starting to come back to him and he shook his head, “I’m sorry for messing it up – our date.” His last words came out as a whisper, and his eyes immediately wandered over Ashton’s chest instead. All the older boy did was shaking his head again and reaching his arms out and wrapping the tiny body of Luke’s in them, one of his hands immediately started rubbing his back slowly. Luke’s breath hitched a bit, still not being quite sure why were they in the same bed and was still wondering why it felt so natural to cuddle with Ashton like that. It’s not like they hadn’t done this before, because he remembered that the first time they cuddled up in bed happened the second time Luke was over at Ashton’s house. It was nothing more than silent moments, and just holding each other and making each other feel loved and needed. Since that day, they couldn’t spend a day without holding each other. He blushed once again and pressed his lips together as he nuzzled his nose in the crook of his neck. Luke took in his scent, Luke took in the sight like he was trying to memorize it and he wished that tomorrow they could wake up exactly like that.

“It was perfect.” Ashton said reassuringly, and he meant it. The whole night Luke was acting more like natural than drunk, he was smiling, like for real, and he was talking so much, and every word of his was honest. And okay, he might have been drunk and did things without thinking them over and maybe that was the exact reason Ashton didn’t really want to tell him about what happened between Luke and Calum just yet. Luke didn’t seem to remember and Ashton didn’t want to screw up this morning.

“But I barely remember, Ashton.” Luke said softly, his voice was showing nothing but sadness and regret. “Gosh, I’m so stupid. I’m so sorry.” Luke felt Ashton’s lanky fingers running through his hair – it was such a calming feeling and it made Luke’s stomach doing flips.

“And who said that the date is over?” Ashton asked with a little smile and pressed a little kiss on Luke’s forehead – he didn’t want Luke to blame himself or feel guilt, plus Ashton really did found this date the best he’d ever had. Waking up next to him was the most beautiful morning he’d ever experienced.

Luke let out a small, happy chuckle and put his arms around Ashton. He found it so amazing and strange how they boy was so caring and loving, and did everything to make him feel better and happy. Luke didn’t think he could ever put into words how grateful he was.  


*                              *                            *

They were lying in bed for more than a hour after that. There was barely talking, it was mostly just sleepy, blissfully, happy silence.

Only when they heard Michael and Calum waking up they decided to get up as well.

Ashton still didn’t tell Luke how he had a kind of fight with Calum last night, because he was praying Calum didn’t remember either.

               *                              *                            *

“Did you know ‘bout that?”

Calum’s voice was harsh and angry – Ashton and Luke was sure he was talking to Michael, as they approached the kitchen.

It took an other hour for them to get ready, to take a shower and all, and only after that they decided to go downstairs.

Ashton was completely aware what they were talking about and he wanted to take Luke by the arm and prevent him from stepping in the kitchen.

“I told you I didn’t.” Michael’s voice was gentle and soft – he clearly didn’t want to fight with Calum but when Luke stepped in with Ashton by his side, he could tell that Calum didn’t give a damn about Michael not wanting to fight. There was this serious expression on his face and when he heard them entering the small place, Luke swore that if looks could kill he’d be dead.

Ashton looked worried and Luke was completely confused, but more like shocked because he had no idea what he’d done to deserve his friend look a him like that.

“Hope you enjoyed last night ‘cause that was the last time you were welcomed in this house, Hemmings.” Calum spat and stood up, leaving his half-drank orange juice in the counter as he walked out of the room. Luke opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t know what to say, he was so confused – instead, a little, awkward smile spread across his face.

“Cal – “ Michael called out but didn’t make any attempt to go after his boyfriend. He knew exactly there was no point, because they’d either end up fighting or not talking at all.

“What happened?” Luke’s voice was soft and his smile already faded, and he was now scared – he glanced at Michael first, then over at Ashton, waiting for an answer.

“You don’t remember?” The purple haired raised his eyebrows and then rubbed his face, because how was this even possible? Right at that moment they started fighting they both seemed completely sober and he was pretty damn sure he’d remember. Just like Calum did. “God, Ashton, you didn’t tell him?”

Ashton shook his head a little and Luke could feel himself tensing up, because come on, how come everyone knew what was going on but he didn’t? It was obvious he did something wrong, like hurting Calum or something so why the hell didn’t he remember?

“Tell me.” Luke ordered, his voice shaking a little bit as he did so, “Ashton, you said nothing happened, but something obviously did, and I want to know what it is.” Luke didn’t meant to be like that, he didn’t mean to question Ashton like that but he really felt like there was a risk of losing Calum, his best friend and this feeling started eating him alive. Ashton took in a deep breath and bit on his lower lip as he exchanged a look with Michael.

“I don’t know if you remember we were playing truth or dare,” He started and leaned against the counter, his hands reaching out for Luke’s to give him some kind of comfort. Ashton didn’t look up though, because he hated seeing Luke like that. So stressed out and that sad look in his eyes were pushing him to the edge where he wanted to throw himself out of a window.

Michael himself didn’t really want to be there when Ashton told him what happened – it wasn’t because he was angry with Luke or anything, he just didn’t think he should be there. It’d embarrass both of them. All of them.

As soon as Michael walked out of the kitchen, Ashton’s gaze returned to Luke’s pale face. He was so shocked, especially when Michael left as well. Luke was thinking he did something horrible which couldn’t be forgiven.

 “ - When it was your turn, Calum asked you about Michael – and I don’t remember what exactly the question was, but somehow you ended up bursting out how you were used to into him.”

Ashton looked down at their hands as soon as he saw Luke’s eyes went wide – he didn’t want to see him cry ever again, he didn’t want Luke to freak out or to make him feel like he was a bad person. But god, how Luke wanted to just turn around and bang his head against the wall, how he wanted to bury himself alive. Luke never wanted them to know that he was the first one to have a crush on Michael. Especially because now, he was completely sure that it was really a past tense. Luke was falling for Ashton ever since he appeared in his life, and he was literally head over heels for him, even if he’d never admitted this to the boy before.

“I – I’m, I – “ Luke was trying to find the words but it all failed. Instead it was his tears that started rolling down his cheeks – of course he understood why Calum was mad at him, and Ashton knew that Calum was only overreacting, but he also knew how much it hurt Luke. That look which the boy gave him earlier and how he practically threw him out of the house was more than cruel.

Luke’s hand started shaking and he immediately pulled them away from Ashton. All he wanted to do was go home, straight into his bathroom and take out that little razor blade that he was hiding in the cupboard, and slice his skin with it. This thought overwhelmed him and he was long to feel that kind of relief now. He was so stupid for drinking that much. It was only his fault.

“Luke,” Ashton started and finally, finally lifted his gaze to look up at him but the sight that was in front of him was more painful than a punch in the gut.

 “I’m gonna go home.” The blonde cut him off and just when Ashton was about to reach out his hands toward him to wipe those tears away, Luke turned around and headed to the door so quickly he was practically running.

“Luke!” Of course he heard Ashton calling his name, and he heard footsteps following him but he didn’t stop.

It was only when he bumped into someone when he looked up from the floor, and he was just about to apologise, but his breath hitched and he choked on his own words when he found himself facing Michael. The green eyed boy saved Luke from speaking, because come on, even if they slipped away they still knew each other since they were little, and Michael was still well aware how the blonde boy was unable to handle these kind of situations. Anyways, he wouldn’t want to leave Luke thinking that he was mad at him and he wanted to do something right, after all these time – he had a whole night thinking through the past year and no matter how bad it sounded, Michael slowly realized how they left Luke all alone. That was the exact moment he decided to make it right, even if it sounded impossible. He just wanted to try. So with that, Michael took a deep breath and decided to not to care about if Calum would get even more mad at him, because really, they were the ones to blame, and not the innocent looking boy in front of him, looking like a total mess and probably being a total mess.

“ - I’m walking you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update asap again, and I have holiday so i'll be able to focus on writing from now on which means I'm gonna try to update as much as I can.  
> (Oh and btw, if anyone of you would like to roleplay, literally any ships (lashton, muke, malum,..etc.) feel free to kik me on: propsxandxmayhem )  
> Also I'd be super happy if you left some comments or anything :)  
> sorry for the mistakes/typos!  
> ily thanks for reading this trash. xx


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I know I'm the worst person ever for not updating for over a year (?!) and I'm honestly sorry.  
> I could totally explain though if you asked, but if I wanted keep it short, I'd simply say I became Muke af.  
> But, since I got a few comments (and they were so nice ily all) and a bunch of kudos to this story, I decided to update.  
> I have to admit I had to re-read my own fanfic and I noticed a lot of mistakes (I'm too lazy to do correction) that I apologise for.  
> I hope you don't hate me too much and I hope you like this new chapter. :)

If the skinny blonde wanted to be honest, he’d say he didn’t want Michael to walk him home. He had good reasons for that and he knew if he told the purple haired boy that he didn’t want him to come with him, he’d understand – but on the other hand, deep down, Luke craved Michael’s company. Not in a way he used to, way before they got together with Calum, but he just needed his friend. He wanted his best friend back, his _best friends_ back. Control has gotten out of his hands since they slipped away.

Luke was able to compose himself as long as they were still inside of the house, as long as Michael promised Ashton that they’d be fine. The curly haired promised Luke he’d come over to his house (for the very first time) to check up on him and he promised Michael he’d help Calum clean up in the house.

Ashton cupped Luke’s pale cheeks as they were standing in the doorway, and he connected his lips to his forehead lovingly. “I’ll see you soon, love.”

As soon as they left, the younger boy let his tears roll down his cheeks. He felt like a mess up for numerous reasons; he was still certain he messed up this date with Ashton, and he messed up his friendship with Calum, and maybe even Michael too. He was worried the older boy would feel awkward around him from now on, because Luke surely did, a little.

“Luke,” Michael called his name quietly as he slowly started walking with him. It was such a heartbreaking sight, seeing Luke crying. It’s been a while since they spent time together, only a two of them. It only happened when Michael and Calum had a fight every now and then and the purple haired always complained to Luke, and then he left. Michael was so focused on Calum that sometimes he even forgot to ask how Luke was doing. Even if he did, Luke avoided his questions by saying that he was doing alright; and he actually realised he kind of gave up on Luke. He did regret it now and it actually hurt how badly he treated his best friend. The one who was there for him all along, no matter what.

“I really can not find the right words to say, and I know saying sorry will not make anything better, or right, but you have to know that I’m truly sorry, Luke.” Michael told him these words quietly, his eyes glued to his face, and just to Luke in general. He was keep wiping away his tears and sniffled, his skinny body trembling both because of the cold and because of how bad he was crying.

Luke shook his head, giving himself sweater paws and tried to stop sobbing, ~~knowing~~ thinking he looked awful when he did, with his bloodshot and puffy eyes.

“You didn’t do anything, Michael.” Luke said with his voice cracking, trying to make even himself to believe what he just said. As awful as it sounded, the blonde really did think that it wasn’t nice from them to neglect him, and he knew this was one of the reasons he hurt himself. But he didn’t want Michael to know that, he didn’t want him to know that he was utterly sad about it, because he didn’t want his friend to feel bad.

“Yes, I did, Luke. And I’m a fool for not realising earlier that you _needed_ me, you needed us. I’m stupid for settling with ‘I’m fine’ as an answer whenever I asked you about how have you been.” Michael explained, his voice gentle but firm, and he couldn’t help but to tangle together their arms as they walked just to pull the small boy closer and to give him some kind of comfort, and to make him feel needed.

“I shouldn’t have been such a fucking idiot. I should have paid attention to you and your well being and not let love blind me, at least not as much as it did. Because you were, and you still are just as important to me as Calum is, just in – in a whole other way. I don’t even understand myself and I hate myself for neglecting you. You, who’s been my friend since primary school. Since ten years, fuck, Luke, you’re like a brother to me and I know I’ve been selfish and the worst best friend in the entire world. I just hope you can forgive me one day and I hope I can make this right somehow.” Michael spoke in a louder tone of voice, but he was definitely still nice, and gentle; he was just angry, angry with himself, and even his voice cracked as he was talking now.

Luke was completely left speechless. Surprised wasn’t even a strong enough word to express how he felt right now, and Michael could tell that, by the way the boy’s eyes widened and how his tears came to a stop. Luke definitely didn’t expect this apology and he didn’t think the boy would speak words like that. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t touchy, but he couldn’t cry because of how sudden these words came. He was just too focused on how nice they felt, how nice it was that his friend finally realised the truth, and he noticed that Luke wasn’t okay. Though the best was how Michael seemed to be willing to take steps to make everything right, and it didn’t take more than half a minute for the blonde to start crying again.

“Michael…” Luke mumbled the boy’s name, really not having any idea how to reply or what to say; so instead of speaking, the blonde boy just stopped -not caring about how they were in the middle of the street and how it was freezing and how he wanted to just get home to his warm house and to his room to punish himself with razors-, and put his arms around Michael, tears still shining as they rolled down his cheeks.

“I’ve never been mad at you. Nor at Calum, I just…” Luke shook his head, his breath hitching a bit as he felt two strong arms wrapping around him. It felt weird, that these arms were not Ashton’s, and they definitely didn’t make him feel as secure and safe as Ashton’s, but it was still nice. And weird, weird because of how for years all he wanted was Michael to love him the way he loved now Ashton. A part of him was glad these feelings were gone, even though he used to really have a massive crush on Michael. But now he felt like he got back his best friend, and that he could now really look at him as a friend, as a brother, and nothing more.

“You’ve been hurt, and I know you still are.” Michael nodded, and if Luke didn’t know better he’d have said the purple haired boy was crying.

“And I can not put into words how sorry I am for hurting you, Luke.” He added as his arms tightened around the skinny boy, but now Luke was sure that Michael was in tears too. He didn’t make any attempt though to pull away to see if he was wrong or not, instead he just buried his face in Michael’s chest, staying in silence as he probably soaked the older boy’s jacket with his tears.

“I promise I’ll never, ever let us slip away from each other – I promise.”

The only thing Luke could do was nodding his head and cuddle into Michael even more, not questioning the coloured haired boy’s words at all. He was still a sucker for everything he said and did, since they practically grew up together and Michael taught him so many things and he was the one making him come out of his shell. It was ironic how he was the one making him hide in it once again, but after this apology, and that promise, Luke just hoped and believed things could take a right direction and that everything would improve.

“Can you come over? Like, not only walk me home, but actually stay. For a bit.” Luke asked in a small voice, feeling stupid for asking but he wanted to take the chance to spend a little quality time with Michael after all those miserable months. It might sounded silly and maybe even a bit selfish but he wanted his best friend to only pay attention to him, with no one else around.

The next moment, Michael pulled back a little and Luke could see the boy wipe his own eyes, and could see how his eyes were a bit red, making it obvious that the punk boy really did shed a few tears. After that, he reached out to cup Luke’s cheeks, his thumbs wiping away his tears. Blue eyes were staring into the green orbs and Luke honestly felt like this was the first time in forever he thought about how much he actually missed his friend. It was a torture not having him around.

“Only if you tell me what’s been going on with you.” Michael replied quietly, though even if Luke wouldn’t say a words about his problems he’d stay, as long as the skinny boy pleased. He didn’t even care if Calum would be even angrier with him for staying with Luke, maybe even assuming that Michael cheated him on, but he didn’t care. He could discuss that with his boyfriend either, because now he decided to put Luke first, to choose him over Calum. Ever since they became a couple Michael didn’t choose anyone over him, but he knew that this time he had to care about Luke’s feelings more than their relationship. He couldn’t risk his best friends to get any more worse, even if he knew Ashton was there for him now as well.

“Okay.” Luke nodded, sniffing quietly, earning a fond smile from Michael.

“Come on then. Don’t want you to freeze to death.” The purple haired boy joked a little, and once again, he tangled their arms together. Luke didn’t mind it at all. It just felt so goddamn nice, it was exactly like the old times. That was exactly why Luke used to have a crush on Michael in the first place, because of how the boy treated him. He remembered they used to held hands and how they slept cuddled up against each other whenever one of them stayed at the other’s place for the night. It was obvious that for Michael it didn’t mean anything, but it made Luke develop feelings for the boy.

As they walked down the street, headed to Luke’s home, the blonde just couldn’t stop thinking of Ashton, even though Michael was keep babbling him about the new guitar he got for Christmas, and how he wanted Luke to come over with his own guitar so they could make music together. He just couldn’t forget that worried look on the golden haired boy’s face, and he already made a mental note to himself that he’d at least send him a text message as soon as they got home.

“Do you think Calum will ever forgive me?” Luke asked quietly after a couple of seconds of peaceful silence, as they got to his porch. It was just a ten minutes walking, and the blonde boy was glad that they could talk about something else too as they were headed home, but now he couldn’t help but to ask Michael about it. He might have got back Michael (though it was obvious they both had a lot to talk about still, and discuss everything that happened and that’s been going on) but now he was just worried about Calum. Because not only did he miss Michael, but Calum was one of his best friends too, no matter how he only got to know him in sixth grade.

Luke could hear Michael let out a sigh as they entered the house, and he nodded his head.

“To be completely honest Luke, I think Calum should question himself if _you_ could ever forgive _him_. He was overreacting, obviously, but since you don’t remember a single thing from last night I’ll tell you all about it. Just please, can I get something _hot_ drink? Because now I’m freezing to death too.” Michael chuckled a little awkwardly as he kicked off his shoes and took off his jacket, watching Luke nodding with a small grin and doing the same.

“Sure, and let me guess, hot choco?” Luke asked with a smile, remembering how when it was cold, Michael would always want to drink that.

“You know me so well.” Michael nodded with an other small giggle as he ruffled Luke’s hair, “I’ve missed you so much, blondie.”

“I’ve missed you too, Mikey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's kinda short a shitty and it's mainly focused on Luke's and Michael's relationship but I thought this chapter was needed, and the next would be needed too, to sort things out between the two boys.  
> Any comments, opinions, reviews, remarks, kudos would be nice. <3  
> Also if you wanna contact me,  
> my tumblr: http://michaelcliffhoe.tumblr.com  
> Or my kik: live.and.letdie


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